What's Next???

Well, I have reached that point in my life where college is about to end for me. I will be graduating in December with my degree in physics teaching from Lipscomb University. It hit me the other day:

I'm not ready to be done.
I'm not ready for college to be over.
I miss all my college friends: Some I may never see again.
I'm not ready for all this change to happen.

I don't deal well with change. I never have.

Most of my friends graduated in May and moved back home. Some got married or are getting married soon. Some have jobs. Most don't.
Lots of thoughts have crossed my mind. Actually my mind and emotions have been weighed down pretty heavily with all the concerns about what I will do after graduation. I've wondered if I'll get a job since I'm graduating mid-year. Should I go to grad school online? Should I substitute until the following Fall? Should I move out of state for grad school and try to be on my own and become an adult before I come back home? I'd like to end up here eventually to teach, I think, but I don't want to bum off my parents forever. It's been horrible trying to suppress all of this and handle it on my own. I've never been one to like to talk about my feelings, but I talked all of this over (with lots of tears) with several people the other day that are very important to me, two of those being my mom and sister. I'd reached my breaking point, and the flood gates of my eyes just opened up! My mom just said that I need to take it one day at a time. I should get this degree first, and then we can decide about the next one. I think that's why I've had so many emotions flying everywhere. I've been trying to figure out my future all at once and on my own. I'm not allowing room for God or even for people I love to help guide me, like my mom. My spiritual life is struggling quite a bit right now, but that's another blog for another day. My sister and mom suggested that I look into the Disney College Program for next Spring. It would allow me to get away and be semi-independent, but it would be fun too. I looked into it and I think I'm going to apply! I would get to work at Disney and get paid while living in Disney housing. I think it would be a blast, and it's something I can only do this one time. It would also maybe allow me time to figure out where God wants me to be in the following Fall, to see what kind of job opportunities or even grad school opportunities open up for me. I really want to be the physics teacher at East Robertson, but is that where I need to be? It will be interesting. Anyways, I am just going to apply for the Disney program as soon as it opens back up for applications in the Fall and see what happens. There are so many possibilities for me. I just need to quit forcing myself to always plan and worry about what's next, and instead, just live life! I need to enjoy my summer, remember that my friends haven't all abandoned me, and know that change can be positive. I just need to embrace it instead of fear it. So even though I'm going to enjoy life day by day, I'm still left wondering:

What's next???

For now,
Katelyn