Thank GOODNESS it's Friday! I just finished my first week of teaching at MLK. Every morning it's a push to make myself get out of bed, but once I'm there, I've found that the day goes fairly quickly and the kids are a blast! Right now I'm only teaching 2 of the 4 honors physics classes, but trust me: that is PLENTY for now!
I have already begun to see how some classes just seem to bond more with you as a teacher than others. Not to pick favorites, but I think some personalities just click, and others just don't. I think also that some kids need to see that they can trust you and that you care before they will make that effort to get to know you. I've been teaching 5th and 7th periods. 5th is right after lunch, so those kids are all wound up. Then you have 7th period which is at the end of the day, so those kids are already mentally checked out. It's a rough combo at times.
Being in charge of 30 high school juniors 2 times a day is tough for me not having much experience. I was afraid I was going to be a jerk teacher, but I'm finding that I'm having a little bit of a hard time being an authoritative figure. I DO NOT want to be a pushover. Now, I understand that part of the reason I'm hesitant in being authoritative is because my teacher is still in the class and I don't want to overstep my boundaries as a student teacher. I'm hesitant to punish kids or whatever. It's hard to know what each group of kids needs from you as a teacher. Until you show them that what you have is valuable to them, they just aren't going to listen.
We've been doing some easy stuff in class and yesterday was a review day for their test they had today. Some of the kids were just talking the whole time. I tried several things that my teacher does and suggested that I do as well. It just wasn't working. They did NOT care at all. I felt so disrespected and frazzled. I just wanted them to pay attention (which is a term that my teacher tells me not to say to them...). The class was extremely loud for a majority of the class period. My teacher stepped in a couple of times to help settle them. After that class, we had a chat about things I should do differently. I just felt really discouraged yesterday after school.
I will admit: I went and sat in my car and cried.
I was just at a loss for what I could do that would get them to listen to me in class. I called 2 of my friends that are high school teachers. They each gave me some good advice and things to try. It's just hard with it not being my classroom. I'm just so concerned I'm going to do something my teacher will not like.
Anyways, they had their test today and it went well. I talked to one of the kids after school who pays very good attention during my 7th period class. He is so sweet. I asked him about football because he's on the team and they have a game tonight. He seemed to like that I was taking the time to talk to him. I wish all the kids would let me love them and care for them. Right now I just feel like there are some kids that have a wall built and are just not going to let me tear it down.
I pray that next week goes better than this week and that I can have an impact on just one kid in my class.
Wanting to make a difference,
Katelyn
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