The End

I am done with student teaching. I have reached the end of my undergraduate college experience. I'm ready to walk across that stage and get that piece of paper while shaking R. Low's hand... or at least I thought I was ready.

In my newly acquired masses of free time I have been hanging out with a lot of my Lipscomb friends in Nashville. I miss the "college life" so so much! I miss being in the dorm. I miss late night talks with roommates. I miss late night movies and runs to Wal-Mart in my p.j.'s. I miss sleeping in until 5 minutes before class just to roll out of bed and not care what you look like. I miss finals... hahaha ok yeah right! I miss the carelessness and responsibility that it is ok to have as a college student simply for the reason that you aren't a big kid yet. I'm not ready to be that big kid.

I am going to Disney next semester, so I guess technically I'm not going to have to be a real big kid with a real job until I get that first teaching job. However, I am going to be 12 hours away from home, on my own, and not coming home the whole time I'm gone. I will be thrown into a group of people I don't know, living with a girl I don't know, working for one of the biggest corporations in the world, and trying to become independent while 700 miles from home... so I guess I might be forced to be a semi-adult while at Disney.

I just don't want to leave my friends here. I don't deal well with change. I don't want to have to resort to phone calls and skype and facebook to talk to my closest friends. I am sure I will probably be very lonely at first. It's like starting college again. I'm all about meeting new people. I just don't like the whole "take a chance on being their friend because you don't know anything about their character and who they are" thing. It's tough. Having transferred and gone through the whole meeting new people thing twice, I feel like it shouldn't be that hard, but the more that I think about it, the more I get nervous about it. I don't want to associate bad memories with Disney World! I would be forever scarred! Everyone tells me I'm going to have so much fun and that I'll be fine, but really, who knows that?! What if I don't meet people, or I have a terrible roommate?

The thing is, I just have way too much free time right now. When I have way too much free time, I do one of two things:
1. Get into trouble.
2. Worry about things to the extreme

Right now I'm doing that worry thing because I have a lot of time to just think about things. I am praying that I can deal with this big change in a positive way next semester and that it will be a growing experience.

Not ready for the end of this,
Katelyn

ALMOST DONE!

2 MORE DAYS! 2 MORE DAYS! 2 MORE DAYS OF STUDENT TEACHING!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

It has been a long crazy semester, but it's almost over! I am SO excited to be done! It's kind of weird that I'm going to be graduating soon though... Disney World, here I come!

A Glimpse of Sunshine

Today I got a glimpse of sunshine in the world of teaching middle school. It was by far the best and most enjoyable day I've had so far teaching at my middle school placement. It's not that the school is bad or even that the teachers are bad. Those are both great, but the kids have just been very disrespectful and rude.

I had fun with the kids today! I was able to joke with some of them and we shared stories at the end of one of the classes. I even had one kid draw me a picture and another one make me a paper bracelet (of course I wore it all day!). These kids can be so sweet. I saw that sweetness today. I saw their fun-loving side today. It just makes me sad that I only got to see this enjoyable side of teaching middle school at the end of my placement.

I also think that my attitude today made a HUGE difference. Last night I was in a terrible mood. I was upset about some things and when I woke up this morning, I didn't want to go to school. However, I have two wonderful friends who helped remind me that my attitude could be changed, and that in changing my attitude, I can make my day SO much better. So this morning when I was on the way to school, I decided that I was going to have a great day. I was going to enjoy the day and not worry about all the things that made my night before go so terribly. It worked! In changing my attitude, I was able to have the best day of my middle school student teaching experience! We CHOOSE happiness. We can CHOOSE to be joyful. It just means being intentional about that attitude!

I have 3 more days of student teaching left! It's SO exciting, but kind of sad now that I've had a record breaking count of 1 day that I've enjoyed. I can see how teaching middle school would be fun. It has taken me a long time to see this, but I'm glad I've come to this realization. I would have hated to leave this placement and not have gotten a glimpse of sunshine while teaching these students.

Some of these kids need adult figures in their lives. Some of these kids need a kind word. Others need discipline, while still others just need love and attention. I hope that in my last 3 days, I am able to convey this change of heart to them. I hope that my actions are able to show them that I have come to this great realization.

Teaching these students takes patience and lots of love. I think I have finally achieved the level of patience I need to effectively teach middle school. This does NOT mean that I want to teach them, but I have definitely learned a lot at this placement. I'm so thankful for this experience and I'm sad to see some of these kids go, but I'm excited for what my future in teaching holds!

Living in sunlight,
Katelyn

Becoming Bitter

I have been teaching middle school for student teaching for the past 4 weeks. I have learned a lot of things about middle school teachers as well as middle school students. This whole experience has taught me a lot, but I feel like it has also made me a very bitter person. I NEVER want to teach middle school. Every day I have to yell over students who don't care if I'm talking. I have to give instructions 501 times. I have to keep students from poking each other with pencils and hitting each other with books. These kids do not respect me. They do not listen. They are not motivated. And they flat out just don't seem to care.

I feel like everyday I come home, I am a more angry bitter person than I was the day before. Each day, some of my happiness and joy in teaching lessens. It flat out sucks! I love teaching, and I really loved teaching my high schoolers at the beginning of student teaching, but it's a struggle to wake up every morning and feel motivated to teach these students who don't seem to care about anything.

Now I realize not all the students are like that. I have some amazing students that keep me sane while I'm there every day. To them and their parents I am SO grateful! I wish I could have whole classes full of students like them. They help me see the joy in every day. They are definitely the bright moments I've found in teaching middle school.

I don't want to be an angry teacher. I hate yelling. I don't like having to lecture a class on listening to instructions. I don't enjoy telling students over and over to stop talking. I especially don't like be backtalked and disrepected. Why can't parents just discipline their children at home?! What ever happened to good values and morals at home? Parents blame the teachers because their children aren't doing well or are misbehaving in class. They say that the teacher isn't doing their job, but could it be that it is something at home? Why can't parents partner with teachers to make sure their students/children are doing well? It's not always the teacher's fault. Before the blame is thrown on this underpayed and underappreciated teacher who is trying to educate your child to be the future of America, take a look at your own methods of raising your children? Are you teaching them respect? Are you disciplining them? Are you teaching them the importance of a good education? Don't leave it all up to the teacher. Yes, we have your children for 7 hours a day, but a good foundation begins at home.

I am ready to be done with student teaching. I look forward to the day that I get my own classroom and my own students, but it makes me sad to know that these types of problems will always plague teachers. I pray that God keeps my attitude positive and keeps me from becoming an old angry bitter teacher. I hope that I can enjoy teaching all the days of my life!

Trying to stay joyful,
Katelyn

Just About the Time...

Why is it so hard to give things up to God?! It seems like just about the time I lay something down at the feet of God, I try to pick it back up again. I don't want to do that anymore! I want God to take complete control of my life... all areas of it! I say that, but then again, I always have that frame of mind that if I want something, I need to go for it and get it done myself. I would just like, for once, to be able to fully accept that God is in control. Even when I think I am, he still is. It's so difficult.

Why am I on this earth and single and going to Disney in the spring? Like, what is my purpose? What am I supposed to do? While everyone else is getting married and living their happy little couple lives, I stand watching as a bridesmaid and best friend to all of these. What is my purpose that I seem to be missing out on?

No. I'm not ready to get married, but a date would be nice. I do love my life. I have a great family and great friends and a great God who make my life worth living, but why is it that I have these desires for a relationship within me? It feels like a tease! I wish it were so cut and dry, but I guess this is something that I'll have to really work at laying down at his feet. I won't know my purpose and the reason for all of this until I do.

Patiently (or unpatiently) waiting, 

Katelyn

Biology? Really?

I'm having to teach 7th and 8th grade science for my middle school placement in student teaching. I was nervous about it. When I got there today, my teacher was super nice! BUT... 7th grade science is apparently 80% biology. BARF!!!

I hate biology.

Seriously? I couldn't get a math placement? Really?

I'm almost done.

And it doesn't help that I miss my high schoolers SOOOOO much from MLK.

Almost there,
Katelyn

A Bittersweet Goodbye

Today was my last day at my MLK placement. I wasn't quite sure what to expect emotion-wise. I was worried I would cry my eyes out, but also worried that my excitement to get a new teacher would overshadow my sadness of leaving my kids. I love those kids so much. I developed such close relationships with some of them. I have so many great memories from that short 7 weeks. It really makes me sad that I may never see them ever again. I pray that I've left an impact on them. I tried so hard to get to know all of them, but it's hard when you have 108 kids in your classes. I just know that they way they interacted with me and showed their love and kindness towards me most definitely left an imprint on my heart.

5th period was my favorite. I tried so hard not to have a favorite class, but they were so awesome. I mean, there were kids in other classes that were great and I loved being around, but there was something about that one class. I was sad to leave them. Today in 5th period, they kept telling me how they wanted me to teach them on my last day. They also kept telling me that they didn't want me to leave and how much they were going to miss me. One girl even made the whole class cupcakes since I was leaving. Another girl brought snacks for the class. One guy in the class said we shouldn't be celebrating since I'm leaving. It was more like a funeral. That made me giggle, but also warmed my heart. They loved me and I was only there for 7 weeks. It's crazy how close you can grow to someone in such a short period of time. So at the end of class, the kids all came up and gave me hugs. They kept saying they would miss me and that I needed to come back and visit. I will admit, I cried.

In that last 5 minutes of class, I realized how much of an impact I'd had on them. Along with that, when I was tutoring two girls yesterday, they told me they didn't know how they were going to pass physics without me. Not only did I show love and compassion for them, but those two girls gave me confidence that maybe I had taught them even just a little bit about physics, something I was worried I wouldn't be good at (crazy, but true). I was changed during this placement. God really showed me how much of an impact students can have on me. He also showed me how being a patient kind teacher can have an impact on students. I was worried that I would be too strict or that everyone would hate me, but they have led me to think that maybe I did something right. I am so thankful that I got to be at MLK with those kids. I'm sad to leave, but I know God will continue to bless me and my student teaching experience.

Loving what I do,
Katelyn